


I win

by Mary_istrying



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Domestic Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Post-Time Skip, haikyuu manga spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:01:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29231982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_istrying/pseuds/Mary_istrying
Summary: "...you know I'm not a monster like you or Hinata, right?"Yamaguchi Tadashi has always felt inadequate. Socially inadequate. Inadequate at volleyball. Inadequate walking hand-in-hand with one of the best players in the prefecture.The unconditional support of his environment helps him to work on his damaged self-esteem and move forward.Yet years later, living through peaceful and fruitful adulthood, his old insecurities return mercilessly.However, no one is counting on Kageyama having a plan.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Yachi Hitoka, Kageyama Tobio/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 13
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers from Haikyuu's manga.   
> If you only enjoy the anime I would recommend you skip this story

The soles of their shoes squeaked against the polished wooden floorboards, causing high-pitched sounds that orchestrated improvised melodies along with heavy footsteps and thunderous impacts against the ball. That song that played during every practice at Karasuno High School was made up of sweat and effort. And, for someone like Tadashi, being able to compose those kinds of rhythms, abundant in panting and cheering, alongside someone as exceptional as Kageyama Tobio was always a privilege. With tingling and calloused fingers after countless serves, passes and blocks, tense knees, and a weary body, the current captain of the men's volleyball team dropped to the ground, reaching for a bottle of water as if it was some kind of mirage in the middle of the desert, the fountain of youth that he had to ingest to obtain eternal life.

That's how it felt to practice with the King of the court. Intense enough to come back home with numb muscles and a light head. And normally he didn't complain too much. He had fallen head over heels in love with that insane sports-lover sometime around his first year in the ravens' team. So naturally spending time with Kageyama involved playing volleyball to the brink of exhaustion and, right when you thought your energies were about to completely falter, practicing a little more.

Again, it should be noted that this was usually not a problem. What was a little bit of weekly weariness as long as he could have the reward of kissing that stupid, permanently scowling face as much as he wanted? Experiencing the limits of his physical endurance was worth it if he could return home holding the setter's hand and talking about the latest episode of his favorite show.

However, there was something else. Something so inherent in the genetics that made up Tadashi's very existence, something so ingrained in his way of being that it was simply impossible to remove it from his personality; _anxiety_.

" _And it shouldn't be that bad, right?"_ he thought, as desperate drops of water escaping from the spout of the bottle ran freely down his chin, too tired to control that collateral damage, too hasty on staying hydrated. After all, he had a nice group of friends, good academic performance, unconditionally supportive parents, a long-lived partner who loved him. His life wasn't bad at all. And he was aware of it.

But, at the same time, there was _that_. The anxiety that, normally, could be drowned with positive thoughts. The anxiety that, from time to time, manifested itself in the form of a hive of bees buzzing incessantly inside his head, with swirling thoughts piling up one on top of the other in a chaotic setting. With dull brown eyes lost in some dead point in the practically empty gym, the young man listened to each and every one of these hissing thoughts, even if they were all speaking at the same time. He had missed most of the serves that day. He had made a fool of himself in front of Tobio, an athletic prodigy with a bright future. Why would anyone ever choose him as captain? After all, he could barely keep up with training and entering college. Why was he so tired when his teammate trotted over to his side, with a worried expression, looking so fresh and rested that it was practically irritating? Why couldn't he be better? Why couldn't he endure practice a little longer? Would Tobio dumb him over that? He would dump him, right? Who would want to date someone so… _weak_?

"Tadashi." the other's voice, imperative and thick, made its way firmly through the uncontrolled torrent of thoughts that were sinking him in a desperate spiral. The world seemed to refocus, the hive inside his mind offering him mercy by keeping silent, though it kept vibrating in discomfort, making him feel tense. The usual gentle gaze in those brown eyes seemed to return, once lost somewhere far away, to focus on the team's setter, who was watching him from above "One more serve, come on." he urged, stretching a hand towards him.

_He will dump me._

The intrusive, haunting, circular thoughts kept coming back. Flooding him with exasperation while placing the nearly empty water bottle back on the floor.

_He'll dump me if I show weakness. But I can't move._

_I don't want to move._

"...you know I'm not a monster like you or Hinata, right?"

The characteristic confused expression of his partner didn't take long to appear, with a deeply furrowed brow and the long fingers that held a ball unconsciously pressing against the rubber. The boy he had in front was indescribably handsome; he had come out of that awkward stage after his first year in which his bangs were too long and his attitude needed multiple adjustments. He now sported shorter hair and understanding eyes, a toned body, and a more mature personality. Kageyama Tobio was perfect. And he had just called him a monster...

_He'll dump me. He'll definitely dump me._

"Maybe that wasn't the best choice of words." he clarified in response to the heavy silence that threatened to crush him like an insect at any moment. The captain's agitated features gave him a nervous smile in apology. "I mean... you know I don't have your stamina, right?"

At the clarification, the other seemed to relax, his fingertips weakening the firm grip.

"You could have it." he recognized immediately, returning once more to his previous pose, with a free hand reaching out towards him unceremoniously "You just have to train your muscles a little more. I can help you with that."

"Thanks, Tobio." he murmured, silently accepting the offer as he rose to his feet. His legs felt heavy and stiff. "But I've been training for three years. I think this is just my limit."

Somehow, he expressed the brutal thoughts coming from the hive with a smile on his face, as one who speaks of an irrevocable fact of nature, something inexorable and factual. The cheery resignation was answered only by a heavy, warm hand on his shoulder, the gentle touch of a thumb stroking the damp fabric of his sweaty jersey.

"Why don't you take a ten-minute break?" he suggested with a softness in his voice reserved only for his partner. The reformed King was challenging; working with him on the court was hard, he demanded nothing less than your best performance every time, his tossings that showed the precision of a clock was something that you should deserve to spike. And that fact was clear in each movement, in each look, so much so that it wasn't necessary to make it explicit verbally. Yes, he was strict. And even more so with people who didn't take his favorite sport seriously. With Tadashi, however, he used to strive to be more understanding than usual, so his conciliatory tone and affable expression were proof of that.

"Okay..." began the other, removing a towel from his sports bag and letting it fall on his shoulders, feeling uncomfortable, sticky, and wet "...but I don't promise to be of much use during the rest of practice."

"Tadashi, come on, we only practiced for an hour." he argued, somewhat annoyed, finding himself on his back while refilling the bottle of water that had been almost completely consumed. Kageyama had been chosen as vice-captain for a very obvious reason; he was the most skilled player. It had turned out to be a very positive decision, as they had practically never disagreed when it came to matters related to matches or training. Yamaguchi's hunches used to be correct for the setter and that was enough. Right now, however, as much as he respected his talent and stamina, something inside him demanded that he expressed his authority.

"Almost an hour and a half, without breaks." he reminded him, standing on exhausted legs "My muscles begin to tense and I become useless. It would be best to quit and start over tomorrow."

The young man with short jet-colored hair approached with a relaxed stride, handing him the bottle before crossing his arms, looking at him in silence. During his freshman year of high school, those intense and intimidating eyes managed to make him nervous on multiple occasions, even after making their relationship official. Feeling analyzed by someone, positively or negatively, was something Tadashi was not used to. He fit better in the background, behind Tsukki's giant shadow, without drawing too much attention and without getting glances in his direction, thank you very much. However, two years had passed since then, and although mending his stunted self-esteem after years of teasing and verbal violence in his childhood was not an easy task, he did consider himself somewhat more confident than before. At least enough to hold Kageyama Tobio's sharp gaze.

"You know...?" the vice-captain began, with a certain anecdotal tone in his voice, letting his back rest against one of the walls of the gym "It is precisely when you pass that stage, where your body feels tense when you can overcome that limit that you think you have."

"Okay, _you_ can do that." he replied immediately, rolling his eyes with a sly smile on his face, as if he felt touched by the innocence of his interlocutor.

"And you can, too. If you wanted to." he said simply, shrugging.

And that seemed to be enough to make something inside Tadashi crack. Feeling suffocated under the dead weight of his own anxieties and insecurities, fatigued in spirit and body, in a vulnerable situation where he was trying his best to appear normal, the comment managed to make him feel defensive. Squeezing the yellow plastic bottle between long fingers, he instinctively arched an eyebrow, lifting his chin to watch the other.

"Are you implying that I'm being lazy?"

"No." he answered carefully, frowning in some astonishment. It was obvious from both his expression and body language that he wasn't expecting that kind of response. And, if the years spent in that relationship had taught him anything, it was that he must express himself as concisely and clearly as possible to avoid a conflict in those moments "I'm saying… you don't know the potential you have."

The comment elicited a laugh that rose deep from his throat and, normally, Tobio felt proud every time he managed to be the cause for which that dreamlike sound manifested itself in the air. This time, however, it was a different kind of laugh. A short, distant expression, drenched in acid sarcasm that implied, without a single word, that he had done something wrong.

"Right. So you know the potential and limits of my body better than I do, right?" he inquired, exhausted legs holding him in place while giving him a look that graciously wavered between genuine curiosity and stealthy, hidden, looming irritability.

"I know how far you can go when you work hard." Of course, a King would never bow to a glance like that. On the contrary, he redoubled the bet as he approached with firm, determined steps, to the point where their noses practically brushed, chests rising together in nervous breaths, imperturbable blue eyes staring at him. "I've seen it. You are much more capable than you think."

The beast that slept within Tadashi had made itself present through words. And now it seemed that that short speech was enough to put it to sleep again. With invasive heat spreading across his freckled cheekbones, he couldn't help but feel embarrassed. He felt irrational and childish for having used such provocative language while his vice-captain was proving, more and more, that he was wonderful.

_He'll dump me._

"Shit, that's cute." he admitted in a conciliatory tone, an implicit apology as his hand rested on the firm forearm of the setter, caressing him in gentle up and down movements "But I assure you that I have worked hard today, Tobio."

"You could always try a little harder." he simply answered, immovable in his place, with eyes so implacable that Tadashi felt as if he were dedicating his words to a cold, impassive wall of steel. How could he be so _stubborn_?

A part of his mind, the most hesitant and vulnerable, was beginning to doubt at the insistence of the words. After all, it wasn't like he couldn't move. He probably could stretch his strength to perform another four or five more serves. And forcing his tired body to make uncoordinated and inefficient movements to please the person he loved could be tempting for that part of himself, the one that considered his value as a person fully linked to what others thought of him. But it was, at the same time, hopelessly irrational and ridiculous. And Yamaguchi knew it.

"I'm tired, okay?" he insisted, in a tone that quickly moved away from reconciliation to fully being fed up. How many times did he have to make explicit that he couldn't go on forever? To reinforce his affirmation, his hand left Kageyama's warm skin, in an attempt to move away to avoid witnessing a look of disapproval, reproach, disappointment, or any other. He found comfort in his sports bag, sinking the bottle between used uniforms and spare towels.

"You're starting to sound like Tsukishima." the voice of the vice-captain, muttered through his teeth, reached him audibly. The sharp words sank, little by little, between his shoulder blades like the blade of a knife. And although this exchange was nothing more than a back and forth of exasperated opinions between a couple who rarely argued, a mandatory release of tension that had to occur from time to time, for Tadashi and his frail and frayed nerves, it was something much worse. It was the culmination of his fears reflected in one sentence.

"Good." he found himself saying, biting off the word. Because, in his humble opinion, there was no one cooler than Tsukki in this world. And being compared to him would _always_ be a compliment.

_He is going to dump me._

_Is he going to dump me? Well so be it._

After that, only a deep, endless and extensive stillness occurred in that large gym. Which seemed to threaten to swallow them alive, seemed to freeze the air around them with the hopelessly passionate tension of teenage love fights. Surprisingly, Kageyama was the first to give in to the pressure, to the invisible force of silence that seemed to want to crush him to the ground. He was the first to break the metaphorical ice, gently and carefully resting a hand on the other's shoulder once more, in an attempt to wake him up from the frantic attempt to shove all his belongings as fast as he could to escape the suffocating environment. And, as a direct consequence of the gentle contact, Yamaguchi stopped. Despite this, the tension in his rigid body language was undeniable.

"Listen, I'm not trying to call you weak or lazy or whatever you're thinking right now." he clarified, inviting him to turn around to connect with those big brown eyes "I just... I think you shouldn't underestimate yourself." at this point in their relationship, he knew how the mind of the one in front of him worked; he knew that the pinch server's insecurities could cause him to take creative liberties when words were scarce, in ambiguous potholes, and thus use them to fuel a wrong self-perception.

"And _I_ think there is no point in hurting your body when you no longer have energy." he snapped back. Because Tadashi could be gentle, patient, and calm. However, feeling his pride hurt, he could also be truly obstinate "You can go on forever without getting tired. You love volleyball more than I do. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't demand me to follow your standards." for each spiteful phrase that escaped from his mouth, his physical distance from the setter increased more and more; taking his hand off him, shamelessly breaking with the peace offering and heading to the broom closet at the back of the gym, again looking for an excuse not to meet his gaze.

"I thought you wanted to improve."

He was so close. Damn, he was so damn close to that stupid closet, so safe and familiar, with its patched mop and the scent of artificial cherry cleaner. He was so close to fleeing a situation that was about to explode with a massive amount of mixed feelings. But the other's words felt like an invading finger inside the gaping wound of his self-esteem.

Turning on his heel, one eyebrow raised and slightly bent over himself, he spoke.

"Do you think I haven't improved?" it wasn't necessary to raise his voice. In fact, the question sounded like a whisper, a kind of provocation that silently spat in his face 'Come on, I dare you to imply it.' A challenge backed by the hours invested within the four walls of that same place where they stepped, by the sweat on his forehead behind the Shimada market, after so many hours that he could see the moon looming, by the tears shed in his first match against Seijoh.

"No!" despite answering a question that was manifested in a low and subtle tone, Kageyama felt the need to raise his voice; not only to silence his captain but to silence the dark ideas that were guiding his sharp tongue, to speak louder than any insecurity "I'm not saying that! I just…"

"You know what?" he interrupted, with the agility of someone who brandishes a sword, cutting his explanations in half and leaving them dying on the ground. He raised a hand in his direction, asking him to stop without the need to speak. "I think it was enough for today. We are going to clean the gym and close."

"Is that it?" Tobio questioned to the broad and worked back of the current leader of Karasuno, who desperately longed to enter that narrow closet and concentrate his agitated mind on mundane tasks to calm down "Are you going to abandon practice?"

"I'm going to finish the insane practice of almost two hours. Yes." he argued with the lightness typical of such a heated debate. With long fingers closing against the side of the open door of his longed-for hiding place. Pressing on the worn wood with repressed frustration "Don't worry, tomorrow there will be another one, and you can feel disappointed in my performance again."

Tobio usually had an answer for everything. Which could be more or less eloquent depending on how irritated he was. More or less extensive depending on his mood. But his current position as second-in-command of the team offered him new responsibilities to which he adapted with the speed that one might expect from a sports genius. He had an immediate response for every provocation from Hinata, for every malicious comment from Tsukki, every request for help from the first-year rookies. He had made an effort to improve when it came to communicating. And now he was quiet.

It was a silence that hurt. That oppressed him under the weight of ambiguity; Was Kageyama angry? Was he disappointed? Would he leave without speaking to him? One of his hands, nervous, buried itself between strands of brown hair, less unruly and misaligned than from two years ago. A shorter, neater hairstyle that made him look older than he actually felt. Why should he be so _pathetic_ all the time? Why couldn't he just spike the ball even though his taut, exhausted muscles complained? Hinata and Kageyama worked beyond their limits all the time. Why couldn't he be like that? Why did he have to be there, standing, staring blankly between brooms lined up against the wall and his short nails digging hard into his palms? Why couldn't he be _enough_? Why was nothing he ever did good enough?

_He must hate me._

_Tobio must hate me right now._

_I'm sure. He must…_

"Hey, Tadashi..." the muffled sound of the other's footsteps, grating softly against the wooden floor, his held breath, his nervous body language, all the signs that warned about his attempt to get closer had been completely drowned out by the furious hive buzzing inside his mind, reveling in the worst possible scenarios. Therefore, his voice forced him to jump and turn around immediately to welcome one of his favorite panoramas in this short and mediocre life he led; Tobio's eyes. Blue, dark, fierce, defiant, firm, gentle, warm. "Come on, you know I didn't mean..."

"You're right." he was quick to interrupt, his voice cracking. His physical strength had started to wane a few minutes ago. Now, his mental energy was threatening to drain as well. Not in the mood to waste any more time arguing, he found himself squeezing the setter's hand in a fleeting movement "That was meaner than I intended. I'm sorry. I'll go... I'll go get a mop." Gradually, their fingers untangled from the other's grip, feeling suddenly cold. Like a wounded hero arriving to safety after a bloody and fiery battle, he allowed himself to be enveloped in the loneliness and familiarity offered by the closet for a few moments, using it as a refuge where he could focus on taking deep breaths and trying to keep that fearful feeling grounded. That fearful feeling that, when he least expected it, something terrible could happen.

Eventually, mop in hand as if waving a white flag in peace, Tadashi returned to the gym with a just-as-drained but slightly lighter head, somewhat less clouded by tangled thoughts.

"Alright. Let's do this, To..." _something was wrong_.

Everything was so dark that he could barely glimpse the silhouette of his teammate, standing in the middle of the gloom, as if his figure had been cut out from somewhere else, strangely displaced with reality. Had he been the one who turned off the lights? _Why_? Why the gym felt so unexpectedly cold? Why could he feel some kind of vibration under his feet? And also...Why, for some reason, did he feel as if he was stuck in his place, unable to move?

"Yamaguchi." the other uttered without warning, voice so loud that the echo rumbled through the walls. It was just a word, but it was emitted with undeniable _contempt_ , so hard to ignore that caused thick tears to pool at the side of Tadashi's eyes, unable to come out. What was happening? They have been normally standing next to each other just moments ago. Why had that normal scenario become so… _strange_ all of a sudden?

Even at the considerable distance at which they were, the pale starlight that filtered through the windows was capable of spreading to the other's face, allowing him to perfectly glimpse at the look Tobio was offering. An angry, spiteful look, overflowing with disgust.

_Why…?_

"E-Eh? Why are you calling me tha...?" apparently, the universe was not going to be kind enough to allow him to finish the sentence. The vibration under the soles of his shoes grew and grew, increasing in intensity until the walls seemed to follow the same example, shaking violently, heralding a soon collapse.

Kageyama's sinister figure, tall and arrogant amid the chaos, remained unfazed.

Suddenly, an explosive sound detonated inside the room, echoing off the walls, arms instinctively covering his head, at the same time that the wooden floorboards broke under his own weight, forcing him to look down with brown eyes dull in terror and a cold sweat settling on the back of his neck.

"Tobio?" he called in a small voice, feeling how the normally safe and stable floor was breaking as if it were a thin ice sheet, producing crunching sounds that managed to freeze his blood. Without warning, without giving him more time than to look up naively, forgetting the wobbly foundations that barely supported him, without allowing him to react in any way other than receiving disdain and superiority in the eyes of the setter, the floor finally cracked under him.

And then, he felt it. It happened too fast to process anything but simple sensations, triggered by dread and despair. A prominent emptiness sank into his stomach as he felt deprived of a solid base to rest his feet on. A strangled scream lodged in the middle of his throat, remaining there and preventing him from breathing properly. As he fell into deep, hopeless darkness, he caught a glimpse of Kageyama. He, standing on the untouched ground, watching apathetically as the universe itself had decided to get rid of the captain, swallowing him into its depths. He, who, as soon as he could make sure that there was no longer need to worry about the flawed player slugging his personal process, proceeded to turn around to leave. And, in the frenzied gust of air that pushed him down, Tadashi could feel his cheeks wet with tears he didn't even notice he was shedding.

"TOBIO!" the heartbreaking cry echoed across the confines of that empty plane, as he frantically stretched an arm to the surface, vainly trying to reach that back that was slowly stepping away...

_He woke up_.

The same volatile emptiness he'd felt in the pit of his stomach forced him to wake up with a start, causing the springs of the bed to complain in the process. Yamaguchi Tadashi put a hand to his face, trying to shake off the heavy sleepiness that prevented him from properly discerning between wakefulness and sleep. His heavy breathing caused his chest to rise and fall sharply, as he tried to compose himself and perceive the details of his room, to try to feel safe and sound back in his reality, while the recent nightmare continued reproducing behind closed eyelids. It was at that moment when, in the silent room, whose only ambient sounds were the chirping of the birds behind the window and the strangled breathing of the young man, something else broke through; four legs, stomping on the covers, came up to meet his raised knees, a curious snout sniffing the air that distanced it from the other and making a funny sound in the process. The disoriented man, who had just awakened, slowly withdrew his long fingers from his face, as he began to feel invaded by a creeping, warm, comfortable familiarity. He had felt that same weight on his side of the bed about a million times before, he had heard that peculiar noise a million times, he had seen that adorable fluffy face a million times.

_Thank goodness dogs existed._

Once he allowed himself to relax, spreading his legs instead of hiding behind his knees, the canine approached carefully, wagging its tail enthusiastically while settling over the lap of the favorite human.

"Hey, Kai…" he murmured in a hoarse, deep voice, while his fingers lazily scratched the precise spot behind its right ear. It was a medium-sized dog, with short white fur with dark patches randomly distributed along its body. Overly mischievous, overly loving, overly loyal. Tobio had found him in the street on the way home to the side of the pavement, one of his paws injured from an accident chasing a car. He returned to the home they shared with Tadashi that night with scratched arms and a small dog, which was shaking and showing a bandaged limb. Five years had passed since then, and the dog that carried a large patch of black fur over the area of his left eye, resembling a pirate's patch, was named Kaizoku. Kai for his family.

Although he was silently thanking his good buddy for helping him anchor himself back to reality, the empty space on the other side of the bed made him feel how his stomach twisted on itself uncomfortably, fleetingly recalling the nightmarish image of his partner abandoning him at the hands of an uncertain fate...

 _No_. He shook his head in an attempt to get rid of those useless thoughts. It was unclear why his mind had decided to torture him with the memory of a fight that occurred eight years ago, but he decided to downplay it. Yamaguchi was probably just lonely without his loved one by his side, right? It couldn't be anything more than that. The melancholy and longing for the constant company had strangely manifested itself. That had to be it.  
However, the feeling of emptiness and pessimism, that seemed to have lodged inside him since he woke up, remained there no matter how much he tried to rationalize his fears. No matter how much he sought to reach a psychological root that would provide him with a rational explanation. An emotional problem needed an emotional solution, after all. And the comfort of his pet's body heat was of great help, of course… but not enough.

With a swift movement of his hand, he took the mobile that was resting on the nightstand to check the time. The large white numbers displayed on the screen almost disgusted him; 6:57 a.m. Too early to function. Too early to exist and face the day ahead. With a long heavy sigh, dropping his tousled head against the wall, he took on the job of doing mental calculations on a time where making any effort other than snoring was strictly forbidden. After all, if it was early in the morning in Japan... then in that far away place where _he_ was, it must be around midnight.

"Maybe he's still awake..." he muttered to himself (barely moving his lips, sounding more like an incoherent whisper than any attempt at actual words) as he slid his index finger through his contact list, his eyes narrowed until, finally, finding the indicated name. Still leaning comfortably against the wall, a dog snoring softly on his lap, he cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as his eyelids dropped lazily again.

"Dashi? Huh, good morning." a voice greeted him from the device's speaker. And just hearing him caused a wide, relaxed, and stupid smile to spread over the man's features, who allowed himself to be melted by the welcome and the warm golden light that filtered through the curtains, sinking again between layers of sheets.

"Hmm ... good morning." he hummed, putting aside completely the urgency and anxiety of the nightmare to fully immerse himself in that comfortable setting, with the voice of the one he adored directly in his ear.

"I didn't call sooner because I thought you were still sleeping, sorry." the brand new setter of Ali Roma apologized.

"It's fine. I… I think I had a nightmare. I don't remember it well anymore. I just woke up earlier than normal."

"And on Sunday. Your self-proclaimed..."

"My day off, yeah." he affirmed with a voice that vibrated due to the slight laugh that accompanied the words. His intention had been to complement the other's words, to speak at the same time while enjoying the camaraderie of an internal joke. However, the means of communication that allowed them to feel accompanied despite their physical distance were not always infallible. And often they found themselves speaking over the other's words accidentally, faced with a mistiming that impeded the flow of the conversation. They were both used to that kind of thing; after all, it wasn't the first time Tobio's job had kept them apart for issues that were beyond their control. And it was a glorious work; growing, progressing with overwhelming rapidity, going hand-in-hand with the enormous talent of the man that had been training from a tender age to be worthy of the place where he stood today. It was a privilege, for Tadashi, to have front row seats to watch the dream of the one he loved unfold in such a natural, extraordinary way.  
Their distance was just a minor setback. However, there were times when it showed itself in cruel ways. Like when the muscular image of his boyfriend froze for a few seconds during a video call, and they received the brutal reminder that, as much as the other's face was projected in all its splendor on a telephone screen. Even though his voice did indeed fill the same room where the other was, they were not actually close. Or when something appeared in their daily routine (an image on the internet, a sign, a memory) that inevitably made them think of the other, they usually rushed to share it by message, desperately wanting to make the other a part of their day to day, just to remember that it could not be read soon due to the eight hours of distance that separated their time zones. Or when his voice clumsily got in the way of the other's speech due to the delayed effect of phone calls, it was a wake-up call that Tadashi could sink into the sheets, close his eyes, and pretend that Tobio was there, speaking into his ear with his chin resting comfortably on his shoulder. But that was not the reality.

Those details that might be obvious, natural, logical... were just reminders, constant and ruthless, of how extremely far they were from each other.

Fortunately, as if it were a life jacket thrown in the middle of a rough and stormy sea, the soft, relaxed breathing of the setter on the other end of the phone managed to partially silence his depressing thoughts. He was not alone. He had a volleyball deity with muscles carved out of a rock on the other end of the line. Eager to talk to him, a mere mortal. He couldn't miss the opportunity by getting discouraged over trifles.

"Anyway, I guess I can always take a nap. How about you? Did you ate dinner?"

"Mhm. Wanna guess?"

"Onigiri." _too easy_. Apparently, finding restaurants that specialize in oriental food while being in Europe was not as difficult as they had both anticipated.

"Damn, you are right." he affirmed immediately, the surprise in his voice practically tangible.

"Stuffed with umeboshi." he continued petulantly. Tadashi had always been a meticulous person with a good memory, especially for things he liked. And he liked Tobio very much.

"Of course." the other conceded, delighting again in another internal joke. They had shared that same dinner countless times, due both to his predilection for the dish and how quickly Yamaguchi could guess whenever he was craving it.

"You love that shit."

"Hey, it's a classic."

"Yeah, well, it's not fun anymore when you try it three times a week." at the acid joke, they both laughed heartily. It was evident that the same scene was projected in the minds of both participants; sitting at the same table, onigiri stuffed with umeboshi on their plates and, as Kageyama's eyes gleamed with anticipation of devouring his dinner, a witty joke leaked from Yamaguchi's mouth about the originality of the dish, the variety in his diet and how predictable their routine was becoming. Well-intentioned jokes without admitting how delicious it really was.

"Do you have plans for today?" Ali Roma's star setter suddenly pried, in a soft and endearing tone, suddenly motivated to talk more.

"Oh, you know..." he began, outlining a mocking grimace on his mature features, slightly raising his head that had been, until then, partially sunk in a pillow "... laying around here and there, making sighs of loneliness. Miss my boyfriend until I cry, then fall asleep." although his interlocutor was not able to see him, he took the creative freedom to accentuate the drama by bringing the back of his hand to his forehead in a theatrical gesture.

"And after that?" the skeptical smile was able to be heard in his voice.

"Maybe I'll go have a drink with Tsukki."

"There it is." he mused, with a slightly exaggerated relief for comedic purposes "I hope you have fun." he added later, receiving a vague affirmative sound from the sleepy man. Kageyama knew exactly what he wanted to say next, so he waited a few moments, as the words spoken faded and the comfortable, warm, and loving atmosphere they had formed remained in the air, manifesting itself in candor that illuminated his chest "I miss you too, you know?"

"I suspected it."

The funny thing about the communication between them had always been that, at times, words were unnecessary. Tobio was not exactly the most gifted in the art of conversation, and Tadashi, understanding and patient, had learned to read his reactions as if it were a book. That particular combination of personalities had resulted in a great deal of non-verbal communication. Glances loaded with silent messages, careful contacts that affirmed unconditional support. Lazy phrases half said because they didn't have to finish them, for the certainty that the other would already know the general idea behind their words. After a decade of progressing together, learning from each other, they had grown used to the comfort of silence from time to time. And that moment was no exception. Tadashi's light breathing gave him immense calm. And Kageyama took a few moments to absorb the sound, to incorporate it, to channel the feeling of _home_ that he experienced every time he interacted with the once insecure boy, too scared to hit a successful float serve to earn him a couple of points to his team. The one he had seen evolve into a trusted team captain and an exceptional adult. He had loved him then, between practices, games, timid and inexperienced kisses, clumsy first experiences of a barely discovered infatuation. He loved him now. So much so that even his chest felt tight with the heaviness of not feeling that very same breath hitting his skin.

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Tell me what's going on there."

For the first time since he dialed his partner's number on the phone that morning, Tadashi opened his eyes.

"Eh? I already told you, I just woke up. I had a nightmare and..."

"No." he interrupted, without any imperative intention in his voice "Tell me everything. What can you see, what are you wearing. I… I guess I want to feel like I'm there."

_Damn it. How to say no to that?_

With the flowing movements of someone who once considered himself an athlete, he proceeded to sit up while his face was decorated with an entertaining grin. His back rested vertically against a soft pillow and his brown eyes, expressive and inquiring, quickly got used to the dim light in the room.

"Huh...okay." he began, tongue-in-cheek. Clearly amused by the unusual idea "I have a red shirt, worn around the neck. It's kinda big on me since it used to belong to a smug setter." it wasn't long before he received a nasal exhalation in the form of a giggle in response, while Tadashi's fingers played absently with the stitching that loosely covered the bony area of his clavicle "I also have boxers on, and... nothing else." had he raised an eyebrow in an insinuating gesture even though the other couldn't see it? Of course, he had.

"Sounds interesting."

"Right. Sure." he replied with a sarcastic laugh. Hand promptly traveling to the dog's head, still stretched out on the numb legs of his owner. He gently stroked the warm, white fur, barely using his fingertips. And the animal snorted sleepily "Kai is sleeping on me. And it's so quiet that I can hear him snoring." he shared later, transmitting and infecting his sweetness to Tobio, who certainly missed the company of the only animal with whom he had been able to get along perfectly in his twenty-six years of existence "The curtains don't cover the window fully, you know?" Yamaguchi's voice resurfaced once more, abruptly interrupting the sugary memories starring Kaizoku. The gaze of the one who still resided in Japan was lost as he closely followed the neatly delineated golden stripes that appeared through the glass, in the area where the domains of the navy blue curtains (like Kageyama's eyes) ended. Dust particles floated lazily in the air, against the light. The atmosphere felt so serene, so peaceful, so disgustingly domestic that it seemed a like crime that the other side of his bed was empty "I hate that. The light wakes me up sometimes. There is... a kind of golden, warm lighting. You can hear birds chirping outside. And I also have terrible morning breath."

"Let's do something."

A brown eyebrow immediately raised, hopelessly curious, at the ambiguous request.

"Something like what?"

"I want you to imagine that... that I just went out for a run. As I do every morning."

"…okay." he muttered against his phone, in a low voice, not wanting to interrupt the other's words. The undeniable affection that permeated his voice perfectly reached his interlocutor.

"Imagine that you'll get up soon. And maybe you'll put some pants on since you are always cold in the morning. And maybe you'll brush your teeth, right? To get rid of that horrible breath you have." the setter continued, suddenly inspired by the small scene of his. Despite of telling a mundane situation, it kept indescribable magic below the known, the familiar.

"Yeah." he added, his voice shaking with laughter, affably inviting him to continue.

"And when you're done doing that, I'll walk through the door. Kai will start jumping and barking to get attention."

"Our Kai? Nah, I think you got the wrong dog..." he replied, suppressing a laugh.

"And I'll greet you, I'll give you a kiss..."

"Seriously? You're all sweaty and gross from running."

"My bad. I'll give you a hug." the tale needed a short pause after that, due to the protests and laughter coming from both of them "And we will prepare breakfast."

"Nice! Can we eat tamagoyaki?"

"Sure, why not. It's easy to make." he agreed simply, shrugging his shoulders "And rice with eggs, we need protein."

"And fruit?"

"Okay, fruit too."

The warm morning air and the cool night wind, totally opposed, had only one trait in common; both accompanied the participants in that conversation. Day and night were blurred. The quiet streets of the residential neighborhoods of Miyagi and the crowded steep sidewalks of Rome seemed to vanish behind the walls of both residences, losing any element that divided the couple in space. Occasionally, there were days like these, when the distance was heavy. When the lack of physical contact burned against the cold sheets of the place the raven-haired man should be occupying in bed. Melancholy days, in which such conversations were not only appreciated but _necessary_ to mentally remove those barriers forged by the kilometers piled up on each flight to Europe. To be able to meet again in a space that was entirely theirs.

"Sounds like a perfect morning, Tobio."

"Yeah..."

The singing of birds behind a window. The chirping of crickets behind another. The soft snoring of a dog and the high-pitched hiss of the wind between the neighboring buildings were the only sounds that made the exchange musical, since both seemed to have run out of words; feeling touched and mobilized by the other, certainly. But still hopelessly dejected.

"Well, I… should get up already." Tadashi began, eventually "You can come back from your run at any moment." and he smiled, one of those smiles that Tobio claimed to adore. Broad, enthusiastic, showing a row of teeth, and causing his freckled cheekbones to rise with glee. An extremely brave smile.

"Can I call you again in a few hours, while I have breakfast?" asked the other in a low voice, sounding tired.

"No need to ask, dude." he replied immediately, proceeding to stand up, without taking the cell phone off his ear "Get some rest. Love you."

"Love you too, Dashi."

"Bye..." with those simple words, as if it were some kind of magical command, the conversation had ended. The screen in front of his incredulous eyes showing the usual wallpaper again as if nothing had happened. As if one of the most exhaustingly emotional talks of his life hadn't taken place just moments ago.

He walked to the bathroom with heavy, slow steps. His mirror stared back at him showing an all too familiar face; mature features, short hair, freckles on his cheeks, defined muscles, large, slightly red eyes, gathering some thick tears that he refused to let escape. He couldn't afford to have a depressing day on his own. The years in which he was carried away by those cruel thoughts that threatened his peace of mind were left behind. It was then that, almost as if he was summoned by a superior force, the unmistakable sound of Kai's claws clattering against the floor of the room until they stepped on the ceramic tiles of the bathroom managed to abstract him from his sadness. Shortly after, there he was, sniffing his ankles affectionately. Like someone who was pulled by a magnetic force, the young man leaned down to caress his small body immediately.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to cry." he assured with a weak smile "Let me get dressed and we'll go for a walk, okay?"

From the moment his phone had decided to betray him by taking away the voice he longed to hear every day, Kageyama seemed unable to open his eyes. The apartment he had temporarily rented was more large and spacious than the one they shared back in Japan. However, that expanse felt cold, hollow. He felt useless having the place all to himself, driven to stay late at practices to avoid, consciously or not, walking through the door and finding himself alone.

The exchange they had just shared, so intimate and personal, so pleasant and endearing, accidentally worked as a trigger to finally bring to light an idea that he had been planning for a long time. And, even though he had always presented himself as a person proud of his self-reliance, of his ability to achieve whatever goal he sets out to do (on the court at least), the bittersweet feeling of acknowledging that he needed help to carry out his latest ambition was not an easy thing to incorporate. With a heavy snort escaping his nose, he returned his attention to the phone to search for a specific name from his contact list. A name that he didn't wish to face, that he didn't like to turn to for help but that, at the end of the day, he knew full well that his loyalty was unshakeable. He pressed the symbol to video call with resignation, waiting for the communication to connect.

"Hey, Hinata." he pronounced, trying to hide the obvious weariness carried in his body language. The image of the cheerful male completely encompassed the device, presenting a broad smile, tanned skin, and short orange hair, striking as always. The happiness in his expression carried over to his voice when it was his turn to speak.

"Kageyama-kun!" he exclaimed, accidentally escaping the other's range of vision for a few moments by moving the cell phone while talking "This is great! You never call me! Are you ready to get your ass kicked in the next league?" he couldn't help but roll his eyes at the comment, so typical of that idiot. However, he had to admit that a little joy and optimism might even come in handy, especially at a time like this.

"In your dreams, dumbass. Don't make me regret calling you." he snapped immediately. He would never admit that the smug smile with which he spoke those words had been affected by Hinata's permanently animated aura.

"Okay, grumpy old man. How are you? I spoke to Yamaguchi the other day! He seemed fine, said he had a lot of work lately." he spoke hastily, with bright eyes and enthusiastic expression. It was clear how touched he was to speak to someone he considered a very close friend again after so long. Suddenly, without warning, his short orange eyebrows rose in surprise, as if he barely remembered something important. "Hey, do you want to talk to Atsumu-kun? He is right over here." he offered, turning to look over his shoulder, thus making his face impossible to read for his interlocutor. As soon as the idea was proposed, Kageyama panicked "Hey! Tsum…!"

"NO!" he roared, so loud that, for a moment, he wondered if the neighbors would complain about him the next day; one of the downsides of moving into a building. After Tobio's clear disapproval, the young redhead turned back to his previous position, raising an eyebrow in an expression that clearly said: ' _What the hell is wrong with you?'_ And the setter had no answer to that hypothetical question. At least not yet, as he felt his nerves only grow and become more and more fragile since he decided to call his old high school classmate, his eternal rival "Shut up already!" he demanded, thus stopping the happy torrent that Hinata's words symbolized; who, tilting his head slightly, looking at him with both confusion and interest, obeyed and fell silent. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something important." he began, taking his time to think precisely what he would say, pronouncing every word with a clenched jaw, speaking between clenched teeth "Privately."

And, usually, their conversations didn't look like that. Not even the ones they shared briefly via text messages. After years where their greatest hobby was annoying each other and dedicating themselves to improving in the sport they loved to defeat the other, both their most powerful ally and their most dangerous enemy, the dynamic they shared consisted of provocations that worked as stimuli, as challenges to never forget the competitive nature of their friendship. Therefore, that caused that just seeing the emotionally constipated face of his old teammate on the screen immediately reignited that flame of rivalry within his chest, that delicious adrenaline of knowing himself capable and deserving of competing against him. However, this exchange seemed different. Kageyama not only seemed unmotivated to respond to his promptings but rejected them in the highest tone he was capable of. His nervous reactions, his eyes wandering around the room, as if he was using all of his cranial capacity (which, Hinata knew, was limited) to weigh how to express himself. How to express something that escaped normality. In response to this erratic behavior, the man with sun-kissed skin and sunset-colored hair decided to offer him a slight smile with closed lips, a gesture of empathy and understanding. Hinata nodded silently and made a mental note to tease him about this in the future, when he wasn't so upset.

"Huh…" was muttered in a low voice, licking his lips as he thought, while he prepared himself for whatever this was. "Okay, buddy. Tell me."

A deep breath, a long sigh, and a look of utter, unshakable determination were all it took for the setter to prepare, before finding the courage within him to express what would be the beginning of his own personal odyssey.

"I want to propose to Tadashi."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I apologize for the delay, last week was busier than I anticipated  
> A bit of a WARNING before: this chapter doesn't contain explicit sexual content per se, but it does have an implicit sexual situation. A fade to black, basically.  
> Still, if you don't feel comfortable reading I understand, and you can avoid that part by pressing crtl+F on your keyboard and typing this:  
> "As soon as the door of their home was opened, they found themselves tangled with each other" (the situation starts here)  
> "Yamaguchi would change all the words in the universe in exchange for glimpsing the expressions that Kageyama was only capable of making in the privacy of the walls of their room any day, with pleasure" (and it ends here, you can continue reading safely)  
> I hope you enjoy it!

"I want to propose to Tadashi."

"WHAT?!" once again, the image of his interlocutor was transformed into a blur of orange colors when the emotion made him move the phone frantically, almost as if he had dropped it in surprise. With little patience, he waited for the call to focus once more, Hinata's big brown eyes, bewildered, welcomed him fully "Holy shit, Kageyama, this is like…giant! HUGE!" he exclaimed, gesturing with his arms, before returning his attention to the scowling face that was watching him from the other side of the phone. "When will you do it?"

"... I don't know." he admitted with some uncertainty, unusual to see in his attitude. "I..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?!" the way he shouted, genuinely managed to disconcert the one with jet-colored hair, giving an involuntary grimace "These things need to be planned, man. Do you want everything to go wrong? Where are you going to do it?" he went on and on, finding a free pass to express all his ideas, concerns, questions and anxieties about such news in the extensive silence that the other offered him. Eventually, between wide smiles charged with emotion and lectures about his lack of preparation, the redhead frowned, remembering a detail too important, too late "Wait a minute. Kageyama, in Japan you really can't..."

"Here, you can." he interrupted him, finally "He would just have to move in with me."

"Huh…" he murmured, putting a free hand to his chin to accentuate his concentration as if he were weighing the other's idea and the statistics of his future success. "Well, it's Yamaguchi. He adores you. He'll think is a good idea, for sure." he concluded, with a smile full of white teeth.

The brief window of opportunity that manifested itself in the form of silence should be seized as soon as possible. And Tobio knew it. However, that didn't solve the humiliation that lay within the words that were stuck in his throat, refusing to be spoken. He had made a monumental advance from those distant days when he adopted the role of the lonely King. Ruling the court with an unrelenting fist of steel. Since then, countless decisions that he was forced to make changed his attitude, providing the valuable lesson of adapting to his surroundings and improving alongside the team, trusting others. However, even a reformed dictator could still grapple with certain issues. Issues so ingrained in his personality, so central to the way he was, that avoiding them would be challenging.

He still had trouble looking vulnerable enough to ask for a favor.

And such a big favor. And to Hinata. The one who should be his rival, the one he should surpass. Positioning himself in a lower place made him feel deeply uncomfortable, a state that was noticeable in the way his blue eyes avoided the screen as soon as he finally made up his mind to speak.

"I… was thinking…of going out at some point in the week." he began, doubtfully, frowning deeply "And buy a ring. And I wanted to know if..."

"Yes…?" he made the mistake of glancing sideways at the phone and… ugh. Those gigantic eyes that sparkled with such expectation exasperated him greatly. It was like talking to a super grown puppy or an elementary school kid. And the setter showed that irritation by clicking his tongue in a loud sound.

"I hate asking you for help."

"Hey!" he complained, visibly offended "You wouldn't even have this relationship if it wasn't for me!"

"Hinata, I only asked you for advice to confess to someone ten years ago." he replied, raising an eyebrow to emphasize his skepticism.

"And here you are, right?!" the man who resided on the other side of the world raised his free arm to gesture towards his phone, trying to point to Tobio metaphorically. Then he seemed to relax, realizing thanks to his emotional intelligence that his exaltation didn't seem to be helping the communication. With his best predisposition, he offered her a calm smile "Come on, ask me anything."

And the sudden change of energy seemed to work, the pressure on the unspoken request dosed, the heavy tension on his stiff shoulders seeming to release. Every time he had to do something difficult, something that required extreme concentration, a risky play in the middle of a close match, a serve determined to change the momentum that was beneficial to the opposing team, the setter fulfilled the same ritual. He closed his eyes and took a big, deep breath. His chest rose with air, his ribs expanded, his head dissipated from any useless or annoying thought, leaving only the necessary, the imperative; the serve that he had to perform, the optimal placement for the best player to spike, the question that couldn't wait any longer to be asked...

"Can I video call you from the store so you can help me choose it?"

still with his eyes closed, comfortable in that world of his, so intimate. Feeling plenary in the middle of the gloom, which allowed him to avoid the obstacles outside and settle relaxed inside himself, he heard something. A loud, wet, noisy breath caught his attention immediately. When he raised his eyelids, he found nothing more than the image of his interlocutor; eyes reddened, glassy. Short breaths he took through his mouth and a snotty nose that sounded too loud for his taste.

"Of course, dude." he confirmed, deeply moved, in a brave thin voice.

"You're crying? Seriously?"

"I told you! This is too big...!"

[sent: 19:24 p.m] hi guys!! (:

[sent: 19:24 p.m] see you at the bar in an hour, right?

Yamaguchi laid his phone on the bed, sitting on the edge of it to slip on a pair of navy blue sneakers. In skinny jeans and an army green hoodie, he was practically ready for the meeting. About a week had passed since that emotionally charged conversation he had shared with his boyfriend. After that, their interactions were normal, full of a natural and serene affection that didn't threaten his emotional stability nor tried to destroy his heartstrings by playings hymns of melancholy and loneliness. It was clear that both of them felt better about the distance, having passed that fleeting moment of weakness. However, he couldn't deny that seeing his friends that night would help him to cope better with the circumstances. Walking slowly to the bathroom, making sure his hair wasn't a mess, his teeth were brushed, and his overall image was not repulsive, he decided to retrace his steps, taking the device in his hands once more to glimpse the answers to his question.

[received: tsukki🌙 19:30 p.m] o.k

[received: tsukki🌙 19:33 p.m] finishing an exhibition. I'm starving.

He couldn't help but laugh briefly as he imagined the drained and sullen expression his best friend must be presenting at that moment.

[sent: 19:37 p.m] hahaha! hang in there tsukki!!!

[sent: 19:38 p.m] is it the Darwin exhibition? I loved it when I saw it!!

[received: tsukki🌙 19:42 p.m] you are not a good parameter. you love everything.

[sent: 19:45 p.m] hey, that's not true!!

[received: yachi🌠 19:47 p.m] actually, it's a little bit true

[received: yachi🌠 19:47 p.m] you love anything Tsukishima-kun or I do

[received: yachi🌠 19:49 p.m] I'm not saying it's a bad thing tho!!

[received: yachi🌠 19:49 p.m] in fact, it's very cute

[received: yachi🌠 19:49 p.m] makes you feel lucky to have a friend like you

[received: yachi🌠 19:49 p.m] and also...

[sent: 19:50 p.m] it's okay, Yachi ♥

Without noticing it, a smile had spread over his mature features at the young woman's nervous habit, which he was quick to alleviate, accustomed to it after years at her side.

[sent: 19:51 p.m] Hey, do you need me to pick you up somewhere?

[received: yachi🌠 19:54 p.m] oh, there's no need! in fact, I'm already on the train. I'll be there soon

[received: yachi🌠 19:56 p.m] but thank you for offering ♥♥

[sent: 19:59 p.m] got it! have a safe trip

[sent: 20:01 p.m] I'll see you guys soon! (:

A few moments passed, in silence, while the joy of exchanging words with them slowly melted away, getting lost in some dead point, between the folds of the sheets, infinite as mounds of sand in a desert. And Yamaguchi fell heavily, horizontally against the mattress, short hair adjusting to the fluffy material beneath him. Despite all his complaints, Tsukki looked happy with his job at the museum. He seemed enormously accomplished with his volleyball team. Even if he denied it to death, Tadashi could tell, he knew him as much or better than he knew himself. Yachi-san was also amazing, progressing in his field of expertise and looking at you with those huge shimmering eyes that screamed at you with angelic choruses of how full she felt.

And he was happy. To claim otherwise would be disrespectful of his financial stability, his family, his dog who was exhilarated to see him every damn time he came home as if he were the most important person in the world. Would be disrespectful of his incredible friendships. And, mostly, towards his boyfriend.

No, he was not unhappy, far from it. However, he had grown up in the middle of a generation of monsters, where everyone was clear about what they wanted to be from before they set foot in high school. Or, on the contrary, they decided their calling by leaving the cozy walls of the school of crows. Bird hatchlings determined to take flight without looking back. And he kept going, of course, he entered college and graduated with good grades. He got a stable job that allowed him to live comfortably. But…

But the predatory smile on Tobio's face as he stepped onto the court.

Hinata's wild aura in every jump.

Tsukki's satisfied look with each victory.

Yachi's starry eyes.

They were people who had fought for their individual dreams. People that had come so far.

They didn't consider their job to be boring, or just a way to pay the bills at the end of the month. No, for them it was something much bigger. Larger than life. They lived and breathed _passion_. And, once again, as if he had gone back ten years in time, he felt inadequate. He felt inferior. He felt as incompetent as when he turned out to be the only first-year member who didn't make it into the team as a starter.

And there he was, busy, floating serenely in the black abyss of self-pity when a sound from the earthly realm returned him from his meditations. Kai was barking, the high-pitched sound echoing through the entire length of the apartment. Huh, that was unusual. He normally only barked when someone rang the bell, when one of his owners came home from outside, or when a visitor showed up. None of the three cases seemed to apply here, so he decided to join in haste.

"Kai! What's wrong, buddy?" he questioned from his place, before getting up from the bed, striding to get to his side soon. The names of the people who might have a copy of the key to the apartment rushed through his mind. His parents? No, he never gave them one. Tsukki? No, he didn't have one either. "Miwa-san, is it you?" he ventured, approaching the room where his pet was still barking with force, jumping in place with renewed enthusiasm. The older sibling of the Kageyama family had received a copy of the key, just for emergencies. Maybe something had happened to her "Did you need anyth…?" the closer he got towards the door, the figure that broke into his home became more and more distinguishable; broad back, short hair, blue eyes that looked affectionately at the dog while he stroked his head between his ecstatic jumps "Tobio." the name caught in his throat, feeling victim of a dream, a hallucination. His return date from Italy was not even close, that night had nothing special about it, how the hell was this happening...? "Holy crap, Tobio!" he exclaimed, unable to contain his smile, hurrying to cross the threshold that separated them, catching his shoulders with both hands as soon as he had him at a close distance, unconsciously wanting to keep him still, in that precise place. "You didn't tell me you were coming." the setter's hands closed over his forearms, causing the other's fingers to travel and rest on the firm extension of his square jaw. And the newcomer seemed to weaken under the contact because he suddenly drew him into a rough hug, which was an affirmation of his need for closeness more than any other emotion. It's not like Yamaguchi was complaining though, inhaling the other's scent and dropping his face against the fabric of his coat.

"I wanted it to be a surprise." he spoke for the first time, his voice showing how tired he was. That was funny, with his mind so constantly focused on volleyball plays and training to outdo himself at every opportunity, he had forgotten this particular feeling. This feeling of having him in his arms. Hugging Tadashi was like returning to the home where you once were a child; familiarity, security, and pleasant warmth were present in the space that he encompassed against his chest, arms wrapped around his neck, his steady breathing echoing against his ear.

"I hate surprises ..." he murmured, in his usual tongue-in-cheek tone that was severely weakened by the surprise and confusion of seeing him.

"I know."

Sadly, contact should be broken at some point. And the brunette seemed to be the first to interrupt that closeness, just enough to be able to look at his face, his fingers still clenched against the fabric of his clothing. Right there, the setter could see him in all his glory; Eyebrows raised, mouth ajar, incredulous expression. Adorable, he thought. The adrenaline of finally seeing the other began to waver, to step aside so that the more rational side of Yamaguchi would seek for explanations.

"Wait, you... when did you get here? What happened?" he demanded to know, patting both of his shoulders at the same time, hard "I thought you had to train for your next game in three months!"

"I agreed to practice a month on my own here." he explained simply. As if the world could work like that. As if he could simply decide how long to train in Italy and how long in Japan. As if Kageyama Tobio harbored magical powers to fulfill his deepest and most private whims "And the next two, back there with the team."

"Is that allowed?" he asked in a low voice.

"It is. If you beg for a long time." he shrugged and, for the first time, seemed to notice the outfit the other was wearing. Notice his groomed appearance, and how good he smelled "You look really nice." practically purred, forced by his instincts to draw him back into a new hug.

"It's great to have you back." saying it out loud seemed to make it official, make it real. It seemed to turn his presence into something even more physical and tangible. Even in the maelstrom of his daily life; between work, responsibilities, and occupations that kept him busy most of the day, he still found little holes to dream from time to time. To fantasize that his partner would just walk through the door at any moment. Just because he could. Because it would happen by magic or by a chance too great. Because the tournament was canceled. Because Italy dissolved after a sudden war and forced him to find another place to play volleyball. Because the team took a break after a meteor hit the stadium where they were supposed to perform at. Because simply, in that idealized plane, he could return without explanation. Tadashi had imagined it a few times. So now, having him close, feeling him, hugging him, talking to him, almost felt surreal "And for a whole month? We won't know what to do with so much time in our hands."

"I can think of a few things..." he muttered against the vulnerable skin of his neck, closing his lips against it to deposit soft kisses, at first. But the contact soon escalated in intensity, causing Yamaguchi to suppress a full-body chill as the sudden wetness of his tongue invading his space as if it were prey.

"Hmm…" he would definitely kick his own ass if this was just another dream. He closed his eyes, driven by his nose by the pleasure that caused him to feel that kind of erotic interaction after so long. Practically melting under his attentions, clenching his fists on his back, allowing his mind to melt into a pool of sensation and stimulation. Getting carried away in that ethereal plane where everything was immediate satisfaction...until..."Tobio, wait!" he remembered abruptly, pulling him away enough to be able to restart his brain, reconnecting with the adult and logical part that should fulfill his promises "I… ugh, shit. I was supposed to meet up with Tsukki and Yachi-san." the messages he had sent a considerably short time ago had resurfaced in his consciousness before the personification of the idyll decided to cross the threshold of his door as if it were any normal day and completely displaced him from reality. Briefly recalling that his cell phone had been left behind on the bed, he began to return to the room "Give me a second. I'll message them to cancel. They'll understand."

"No, it's fine." he suddenly interrupted the other, closing his hand around his wrist gently, thus preventing the escape. His face looked tired, but his eyes showed empathy and understanding beyond what he would be able to express in words. "Go with them. I don't wanna ruin your plans. You always complain about how hard it is to find a night where the three of you are all free."

"Hey..." as if attracted by a magnetic force, he approached his direction again, intertwining the fingers of both hands at the same time, while his features unconsciously machined a smile full of tenderness "Seeing you is an event which happens much less frequently." he tightened his grip against his hands, thus emphasizing the meaning behind his words "It's important."

"Your plans are important. You should go."

Just as the undeniable chemistry, proving unable to fade after a decade of sharing their life together, had unleashed an absolutely natural fluidity from the moment they saw each other that night, they had finally reached a dead end, an impasse. Although Tadashi certainly did not intend to abandon the newcomer under any circumstances, the situation seemed to have turned delicate. Flatly declining his attempts to please his boyfriend could hurt the setter's feelings. And if there was something they didn't need in their first moments together after months of excruciating distance, it was a misunderstanding.

"Do you wanna come with me?" he ventured, although he was not totally sure that this alternative was the one that Tobio felt the most comfortable with "They haven't seen you in a long time, they will surely be surprised." silence. The grip of their hands, until a moment ago invigorating and encouraging, was now simply there, uncomfortably holding them together in the middle of a wordless conversation. Suddenly, he felt inconsiderate for suggesting it and resumed his old habit of waving his arms negatively against his face. "Forget it, I'm saying stupid things. I'm sure you're exhausted after your flight of fourteen freaking hours and..."

"I'll go."

What?

Just like that? So simply? At times he forgot that things with Tobio used to be direct and clear all the time, that he rarely allowed himself to be screwed up in circular thoughts or possible meanings given to unspoken things like Yamaguchi used to do. No, he was much easier to understand. And, at times, it was easy to forget how much his personality could complicate simple things until he was reunited with the dark-haired man once again.

"You sure?" he pronounced carefully.

"Of course." he assured the other, offering him half a smile before frowning, suddenly upset. "But…can we come back early?"

_Shit, he looks cute when he's tired._

"Two hours tops."

"I really fucking love you."

"I know, Tobio." he affirmed, reaching out his arm to caress the fine strands of black hair. "Wanna take a shower before we go?"

"Kageyama-kun! You are here!" Yachi's face, normally sweet and pleasing to the eye, seemed to light up with the intensity of millions of stars at the glimpse of her former comrade from the volleyball club. Both she and Tsukishima arrived first, making sure to occupy the table they used to take whenever they met, the one closest to the bar. The wide smile on the young woman's face remained as she waved at them from her place "How long has it been?" she asked curiously, putting a hand to her chin after happily shaking the owner's hand in greeting.

"I think the last time I saw you guys was at the stadium." he answered honestly, taking the chair in front of her, allowing Yamaguchi to sit in front of his best friend. The young adult with freckled cheekbones soon found himself raising his eyebrows in surprise as his friend immediately confronted him.

"Yamaguchi! Why didn't you tell us sooner?" she demanded with a tone of voice that was torn between being comically offended by not being aware of Tobio's presence in the country, as well as enormously happy to see him.

"He wanted it to be a surprise."

"You hate surprises." Tsukki interceded simply, watching the newcomer with amusement from under his thick glasses.

"Tell us, how have you been? How is Italy?" insisted the girl, interrupting the complicit laughter of both childhood friends. And the star player took a few moments to think about it, unconsciously raising his lower lip in his usual pout of concentration. In unison with his deeply furrowed brow. Tadashi could feel the gears in his head moving to organize each of the characteristics he had noticed throughout his time in Europe, respecting each one's turn until he could choose which one to select. It was fascinating.

"Everyone calls each other by their first name. It's hard to get used to that." he finally decided, looking up at her.

"Oh!" it was all she could respond to it, a cordial gesture of astonishment. And the brunette simply decided to stick an elbow on the table to rest his face against his hand, while he was delighted with the spectacle that was to see him talk.

"And they have sweet stuff for breakfast."

"I heard they usually greet each other with kisses on the cheeks." added the blonde across the table, with a joking and ironic expression. And the setter, at if reminded of a fact that he seemed to have lived countless times during his trip abroad, paled a little before answering, in a low voice.

"I just... I extend my hand and hope for the best."

Obviously, the straightforward comment sparked a bubbling of laughter from the three friends, which eventually the black-haired man joined in as well, seeming to relax after talking a bit. Time could be a funny thing; at times blurring the peculiar details of those he used to know very well, regressing his mental representation of people to something much simpler: Yachi was nice and Tsukishima was arrogant. And that was it. It wasn't until they shared the same place again, exchanged words again, saw them smile, joke, ask questions, and live acting like themselves that Kageyama was finally able to recall what it was really like to be part of that group for three years of high school. And maybe he hadn't realized how much he missed that dynamic until he had it again.

"I'll go buy us some drinks." Tadashi's voice resurfaced from the surface of the deep sea that was his thoughts at that moment, forcing him to look up because his boyfriend had gotten up from his seat "Tsukki, beer?" he asked, pointing briefly with his index finger.

"Oh, you know I don't drink." he replied with an impassive voice.

"Haha...that joke never gets old, huh?" the brunette rolled his eyes affectionately before turning in his direction "Tobio?" the way his gaze shone almost made his stomach clench. Ah, the alcohol... he had forgotten that detail. It's not like he didn't like to drink, the few times he had tried (usually in the comfort of their home, legs tangled around his partner, casually drinking something while watching tv) he hadn't disliked the taste or the effects it generated on his body. Except for peeing too much, that was annoying. But... would it really be okay to drink now? So close to his next game? Would it be wise...? "Wanna share a beer with me? It would only be like half a glass." he offered gently, evidently reading the concerns written on his face as if it were an open book. Yamaguchi had a skill (a superpower, to be honest) of making him feel comfortable in any situation.

"Okay." he accepted with a nod and a soft, tight-lipped smile.

"Yachi-san?"

"A lemon sour is fine."

"Got it." he replied, hopelessly enthusiastic, before turning his back on his companions to go to the bar. And with him, his superpower was gone, leaving him alone to face a social situation with people he appreciated, but with whom he hadn't exchanged a word in an amount of time that was so wide that it was starting to get blurry.

At least the place was comfortable; it wasn't exactly spacious, but that detail resulted in a very cozy feeling. The music played constantly, melodies without words that were sometimes repeated, pianos and violins, and its volume, although always present, didn't disturb the fluidity of the conversations. The dim lighting, pink neon signs, the walls plastered with scraps of newspapers, or whole pictures in monochrome tones. Small tables with wooden chairs or circular booths, like the one where his back was leaned against at the moment. All those little details added to the enjoyment of his experience. Although he was tired and somewhat disoriented (" _When I got in the plane back Italy it was nighttime. I got here and it's still nighttime. I don't get it. Will the night end at some point?_ "), There was no doubt that he had missed his town, with its charming little bars, his old high school friends, and, of course, Tadashi.

"So... they let you go months before a game?" Tsukishima asked suddenly, surprisingly being the first to break the ice. In response, the setter simply shrugged.

"I'll train from here, it's not like I'm wasting my time." he explained, although it sounded like he was excusing himself "I have to come back in a month."

"Yamaguchi-kun looks happy." the woman intervened politely, lighting up the conversation with her kind voice. Her gaze traveled to the bar where the aforementioned had disappeared, and the men's eyes instinctively followed. The brunette was staring at his phone, drumming his fingers absently against the polished wood, smiling fully. There was no room to doubt Yachi's statement, not when the energy radiating from the man changed the environment around him, making everything more enjoyable.

"Yeah, it's true…" the Sendai's Frogs blocker had to agree, taking his time to incorporate the change in his best friend's body language before finally turning towards the designer's direction, his appearance noticeably softening. "What about you? We haven't seen each other for so long that you might as well be living in Italy, too."

"You're overreacting!" she replied, speaking while laughing. Kageyama felt much more comfortable in that place, being a spectator rather than an active participant in the conversation. "Work is going well, it keeps me quite busy. Lately, I have been sketching ideas for a trucking company advertisement."

"It sounds boring." he opined, without any hesitations, wrinkling his nose in a gesture of aversion, causing his glasses to move slightly.

"It is." she admitted, amused "But that is the challenge, don't you think? To make something objectively boring become… visually interesting." those brown eyes of hers, shining with joviality, traveled between the two men, as if she were trying to address both, not leaving anyone out "I feel that it must be similar to the work of an artist." she muttered then, to Tobio's surprise. The young woman had always been characterized for being patient and pleasant to be around, but extremely insecure and fearful (somewhat similar to Tadashi, now that she analyzed it). That same girl that he had met was there in front of him, using such a great word as an _artist_ to categorize her current work. Without really understanding the reason, perhaps simply because of a protective instinct that still lived inside him, extinguished after years out of school, he felt a flame of pride and satisfaction ignite when he saw her show such confidence.

"Remind me to hire you to advertise the insect exhibition." the blonde joked, pulling an audible laugh from her.

"Sounds like a good challenge."

She continued speaking, he knew it. He could hear the indistinct, almost musical murmur of her words over the acoustic songs that harmonized the place. Tsukishima's voice joined soon, in a quick and spontaneous exchange, probably. However, he couldn't prevent his mind from dissipating for a few moments, losing itself in some deadlock over their shoulders. It wasn't an easy task to keep his brain focused after such an extensive flight, but that didn't mean he wasn't enjoying the moment. The friendly and comfortable atmosphere took him back to simpler times. Times where all he did was work hard and yearn. Times where everything he had at the reach his fingertips today lay as a goal to be achieved in the future. Times stained by the morning light against the windows of the gym, battles of insults with Hinata, and endless attempts to coordinate his tossings with the proud blocker. Times whose value hadn't been quantified in his mind until he saw himself back.

"…Hinata-kun!" the young woman's voice suddenly manifested itself over the serene waters of his memories, forcibly raising his soaked head to the surface to re-plant himself into reality. It was obvious that there was something else contextualizing the name of the annoying talking tangerine, but his distraction didn't allow him to understand the whole picture.

"Hm?" he inquired, giving up trying to guess on his own account, frowning in defeat.

"Hinata-kun sent me this photo yesterday." she insisted, extending her arm across the table to show him her phone (really cute, wrapped in a baby blue case with a star-shaped silicone accessory hanging from it). On the screen there was an image of the dumb ninja himself, with his usual beach outfit, white cap and sunglasses included, smiling with all his mouth and hugging the shoulder of Atsumu, who was trying way too hard to pose and look attractive for the picture. "Apparently Miya-kun made a quick visit there." she explained, removing the device from the other's face, and settling in her place, tucking one of the golden strands of her hair behind her ear. Kageyama didn't want to be distracted again but, the image did nothing more than remind him of the call he had with the redhead a week ago "I'm happy for him, he needs company." she added then, talking more for herself than for her companions.

"If there is something that guy never lacked is company." Tsukishima said with a smug smile, glancing sideways at the girl's cell phone.

"I mean people he met here!" she insisted, with something more force in her voice. Without becoming overbearing or dictatorial "This is his home, after all." she murmured, taking her gaze to her own hands, holding the device on her lap. The two men at the table exchanged looks full of suspicion and confusion, eyebrows raised silently. In the absence of a response, Yachi was tempted to fill the air with more words "Maybe it turned out to be a somewhat small place for all of his dreams but… it's still his home."

She looked affected. Although not enough to sound aching or extremely upset. No, she had a subtle, calm, good-natured longing. However, even someone so indifferent to practically everything as the blocker was, could notice it. And Tobio had always considered himself as someone perceptive. The two shared a second look before the blonde proceeded to speak, tentatively raising a hand to rest it on her shoulder, but changing his mind and stopping midway.

"Do you talk to him often?"

"I… um…" she began, searching for the words, before an absolutely foreign sound, which did not come from the speakers of the place, the conversations of others or from any type of device, made itself present, breaking all previous tension as if it was magic. Tadashi had returned, balancing three drinks in both hands and wearing a funny expression, as if he was trying to apologize with just his face.

"Sorry for the delay." he excused himself, resting the glasses on the table and bringing them closer to his friends before taking a seat next to Tobio "The place is kinda crowded..." he explained briefly, immediately bringing the drink to his lips, enjoying the foam and freshness that he felt down his throat "It's really good, you'll like it." he assured the setter, before taking a second drink, trying to leave about half the full glass for him. His demeanor clearly caught the attention of Tsukishima, who wasted no time in firing one of his sour comments.

"Um…Should I ask about…?" he half questioned, pointing to the glass in the hands of his friend. At the question, three pairs of eyes were directed towards the raven-haired man, who instinctively straightened up in his seat.

"Alcohol affects your psychomotor functions and, therefore, your sports performance." he explained in an automaton voice, making it clear that he had memorized his reason for avoiding drinking as much as possible.

"Wow, you used some big words."

"But that only happens with large amounts of alcohol!" Yamaguchi added, feeling reminiscent of the old days, where he had to take both players by the shoulders and smile with tension on his features to avoid unnecessary discussions "That's why we are sharing. You'll be fine." he confirmed once more, handing him the glass while Tsukki chuckled. Oh, he could already visualize the teasing he would earn in their Line conversation tomorrow morning.

"Hey, how about the news that Tanaka-kun proposed to Shimizu-chan?" ventured the young woman with golden hair, neatly gathered in a high ponytail. Her comment came into the air after a few moments of comfortable silence where the group had done nothing more than calmly submerge themselves in their drinks, the refreshing taste of lemon tingling in her mouth as she watched the reactions from the rest. And Tadashi thanked her silently, with a look full of empathy and camaraderie, he was mostly convinced that the exchanges between his partner and Tsukki would not culminate in too rough friction, but he understood the conditions in which the player's spirits were after a fourteen-hour flight, and honestly, he didn't feel like pushing his luck. The change of subject was something that allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief.

"How is that news?" stated the blonde, leaving his glass on the surface again with movements loaded with elegance "He has been proclaiming that he would marry her since we were in high school."

"I guess in this case the news is that he actually made it, Tsukki." replied the other in an agile joke, causing a general bubbling of laughter among his group, raising the atmosphere.

"She knew it for a long time, you know?" Yachi continued, absentmindedly sliding a fingerprint across the rim of her glass "She found the ring by chance while cleaning the house."

"Really?" asked the brunette, genuinely surprised.

"Wow, Tanaka must have been devastated..." Tobio muttered, in a tone that showed honest concern for his previous upperclassman.

"Shimizu didn't tell him." she continued, serene "She sent me messages when she found it. She even sent a photo!" for the second time in the course of the evening, the men at the table gathered around the girl's cell phone to share in the news "It's a beautiful ring. She just pretended to be surprised when he proposed."

"She basically lied to him, then." Tsukki replied scathingly, before silencing his sharp tongue with a new swig of beer.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing!" the blonde claimed immediately, without noticing the fact that her voice had sharpened when she exclaimed.

"You are the one who always talks about honesty in relationships..."

"Come on, it's a special case!" she insisted, averting her eyes from the blocker of the frog team to seek support from her colleagues, one of her hands pointing to the setter "Kageyama is right. His spirit would have been shattered if he found out his girlfriend already knew." she began, face darkening by the hypothetical scenario where misery and sadness reigned "His conception of manliness, directly linked to his self-worth as a person, would have collapsed and perhaps he would never be able to think of proposing to the woman he loves ever again and..." 

"Breathe, Yachi-san!" Tadashi intervened immediately. 

Sometimes that happened, the innate nerves that slept inside her, usually grew in dimension until imagining the most disproportionately tragic possibility of what could happen, the most terrible alternative. And even if it was only an imaginary scenario, it _felt_ real in the way her breath hitched and all her negative feelings cornered her. It used to happen much more frequently during her teens, in an environment as new and foreign as a men's volleyball team was. Currently, working to become the best version of herself, she still had to fight against such nervous habits.

And she did so, she breathed deeply. After a long inhalation in which Yamaguchi joined in solidarity, she seemed to find the fortitude to continue with her story.

"I-I'm sorry. I… I mean…" she frowned, softly over delicate features, trying to find the right words. "She knew this was important to him. This great love gesture. And she didn't want to take it away from him." she explained with sweetness in her voice, turning towards Tsukishima as if trying to convince the most skeptical child in the world about the existence of Santa Claus "I think that's what it means to love someone, you know? Putting the other's happiness first, worrying about their mental well-being."

Faced with such solid arguments, expressed through such a resplendent and heavenly expression, the cynical child wasn't fully convinced, but he seemed to enjoy the way they tried to introduce him to Christmas magic. He crossed his arms with usual arrogance and let out a nasal chuckle.

"You are hopeless, Yachi-san. One drink and you're already talking about true love."

An amused smile spread across the young man's features, lifting his freckled cheekbones hopelessly. Because it was true, that conception of love could be naive or idealistic. Still, something was charming about her words. There was something undeniably familiar, something he was looking for in Tobio's blue eyes. He had always been his own worst critic, he had always been skillful and accurate in finding his own flaws, his own weaknesses. At times, he believed that feeling inferior to others, not being able to reach them, constantly running behind the distant backs that he was trying to touch, was one of his weakest points. However, maybe that was his way of loving. Celebrating that his partner left for another continent for endless months, working as a foundation for the other to rest. Maybe that was a strong point, after all. An act of bravery that was being reciprocated and rewarded by his surprise return to Japan. Perhaps they had always loved each other as Yachi claimed. And he only had failed to realize it. In the privacy of their seat, somewhat isolated from the rest of the tables, shielded from external gazes by anonymity, their hands joined under the wood. Thumbs circled the other's skin tenderly, fingers intertwined so naturally as if returning to the place where they belonged.

"No... I think I understand what she means." he finally muttered, without taking his eyes off his lover's face. Without missing a speck of the tight-lipped, silently moved smile that formed on the other's mouth.

"You'll make me vomit, Yamaguchi." Tsukishima expressed cheekily.

As soon as the door of their home was opened, they found themselves tangled with each other. In movements so fast and desperate that it was impossible to figure out who had approached whom first. The only unmistakable fact was the yearning, the mutual hunger for each other's contact. Tadashi felt a rough, uncontrolled touch warming the skin on his back, just below the confines of his hoodie. Tobio felt a scorching breath against the sensitive and exposed skin of his neck, kisses that wavered between the extremes of sweetness and the most primal instincts. The setter's coat slid hastily out of his field of vision, falling heavily to the ground. And there, with a slight tug on his brown hair in a silent request to lift his head, their mouths met again, in a wet, wild kiss, full of need and closeness.

"I missed you _so_ much." he muttered before stealing a new contact against the player's thin lips. Their feet, completely oblivious to logic, being victims of a desire so enormous that it was turning out to be incapable of being contained within the apartment, threatening to explode right under their noses, moved them by inertia towards the bedroom.

"Me too." he practically growled, a guttural sound coming from deep in his throat. Blue eyes rising, half-closed, to observe the dazzling face of the one in front of him. Without noticing it, his arms squeezed the tight hug he had against him, pulling him against his chest as they awkwardly walked in the same direction.

"No, no, no. I don't think you understand the magnitude of what I'm saying." he argued back, raising his eyebrows in a gesture of astonishment as if he were talking about a natural phenomenon whose measurement was impossible to determine. The bedroom was dark when they arrived, stumbling and floundering, clinging to each other as if their life depended on it. A pair of large, agile hands came up, and from one moment to the next, Tadashi's favorite hoodie fell uselessly to the wooden floor, closely followed by his shirt. With big brown eyes starting to get used to the gloom of the environment, he planted a new kiss fully, without short notice, taking Tobio by surprise, bumping against his teeth. "I'm talking about starting to hate volleyball for keeping you away from me." he jokily admitted, releasing a slight laugh that made his words tremble. At that, Kageyama did nothing but mimic his gesture, chuckling softly before pulling his white T-shirt over his head in a movement so fluid and engaging that, based on the change it caused in his partner's heart rate, it should be illegal.

"And what about the ball-shaped cushion on my side of the bed?" he inquired later, approaching again. A heavy sigh settled inside him as he felt the overwhelming warmth of his bare chest against his lover's skin.

"I look at it with disdain every night." he answered, frowning at the same time as he smiled with exaggerated malice for comedic purposes. The laugh that he managed to get from the setter, in such a private context, turned out to be manifested as an electric current that branched out through his entire being, demanding more closeness, more of him.

"You're such an idiot." he articulated against the skin of his clavicle, his breath burning, shattering, and throwing away any thought that wasn't the impatient greed of feeling him around him, feeling him in every possible way. Yamaguchi's open hands planted on his strong shoulders to push him back slightly. Enough to allow himself to sit on the edge of the bed and watch the other from below. From that bed that Tobio should never have left in the first place, that stupid bed with that stupid ball-shaped cushion that just reminded him of his absence every night.

"An idiot whom you missed..." he joked in a provocative tone, before receiving the other's body on top of him, depositing all his weight, crushing him under the gravity of all his affection, of all those months that they spent apart, of all the moons they saw go by wondering what the other was doing, where would he be, _is he thinking of me...?_

Those questions were not only unnecessary at the time, but they were also in the way. Because anything that wasn't the outlined silhouette of the player's waist trapped between his legs or those hungry lips crashing hard against his was a waste of time. His firm touch, lighting flames wherever he passed, infiltrated into Tadashi's pants without the other being able to do anything else but to melt under his attentions, desperately fighting against his dozy mind to reciprocate in the same way. In their next kiss, he insatiably swallowed the sighs that emanated from the one with raven hair, he accepted without complaint all the small and piercing sounds that he had missed to the point of exhaustion. So many stimuli, so many sensations, so much pleasure pouring over him as if it were an avalanche that, for a moment, he felt unable to contain it all. His unexpected visit turned out to be a perfect trigger after so much time alone.

_…huh, maybe I do like surprises after all._

"Take it off, take it off…" Tobio muttered hastily, quickly dismissing any facades or masks to provoke or attract him. That unmistakable glow in his predatory gaze was nothing more than pure, genuine desire. Two pairs of diligent hands rushed to undo the buckle on his belt, to clear any obstruction to his objective. One's fingers trailed around waists, mercilessly digging short nails into the plains outlined by the hipbones. Another's traveled leisurely across backs, in between the sinking of the shoulder blades, within each sensitive area until they reached his neck.

' _I needed you._ ' the brunette said without opening his mouth. He told him with his gaze, heavy with mute pining. He told him with deep sighs that collided against the other's lips, with the way his hips rose instinctively, finding peace in friction with the other.

' _You have no idea how much_.' the setter confessed, without any words. He preferred to express it with wet contacts of his tongue against the other's skin, scalding him. With grunts and gasps. With the way one of his hands gently entwined with his lover's as the other one descended below his pelvis in a gesture of determination.

Nonverbal contact abounded in their communication and, at that precise moment, with the city sleeping behind the curtains and the mild presence of the consumed beer tickling their heads and gently liquefying their inhibitions, there was no need for words. Yamaguchi would change all the words in the universe in exchange for glimpsing the expressions that Kageyama was only capable of making in the privacy of the walls of their room any day, with pleasure.

"Tobio?"

He was still awake. Staring at the ceiling of the room where blurred shadows danced through the window. He felt completely unknown to time and space. It could be three in the morning as it could be five, he didn't know, he didn't care. The hours seemed to vanish under the fingertips of his boyfriend touching him mercilessly. The room was still dark when he spoke his name, between the warmth of the sheets that held them both and the soft tickle of the setter's hair brushing the bare skin of his chest.

"Hmm?" he uttered, barely conscious. It had been an extremely long day for him, and the fact that he was still awake after so long could be considered a miracle.

"Remember that time we argued back in the third year?"

When in doubt, the man knew that he couldn't escape the conversation with a half answer, produced by his sleepy brain. He should make a greater effort to come up with something that satisfies the other. With all the regret of his being, he left the warm shelter of his lover's arms to get up, sitting on the mattress and resting his head against the wall, eyes half-lidded. He let out a long breath as he thought, as he remembered, as he traveled back in time to a time fuzzy in the afterglow of sex and his heavy sleepiness.

"Um…" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes. "The time you benched me for five minutes for threatening to shave Hinata's head?"

"No, no." he replied quickly, the ghost of a smile dancing over thin lips, watching him from below, from his place between the pillows "We were doing overtime after the usual practice, we had the gym to ourselves." he explained slowly, so the other could understand him better "I was tired and you wanted to continue training. Then…"

"Oh." he articulated, suddenly, his eyes widened when the realization finally hit him square in the head "Yeah, now I remember a little."

"A few nights ago I dreamed about that." he admitted, feeling somewhat uncomfortable to finally express it out loud. That nightmare and the terrible feeling it had left inside him since then, were something he had to work on alone. He knew it. It was intimately linked to his own uncertainties inherent in his own perception of himself. But… but _Tobio was there_ , finally, sharing the bed with him, encompassing all of his senses and taking over the room with ridiculous ease, demonstrating how badly he had him tied around his finger. Tobio was there, and the night made him feel vulnerable. It made him feel that it was necessary to share something so personal with him "I... I think I always felt inferior to others back then, you know?" he confessed through his teeth, causing a pair of black eyebrows to furrow deeply, both displeased and confused "But then I started dating you. And your talent was so overwhelming…still is, in fact." he added with a soft laugh, taking a hand to his brown hair and tousling it without realizing it "I guess I...felt inadequate, back then."

"That was a long time ago, Dashi." he whispered, after a prolonged silence.

"I know."

"I barely even remember it." he continued, bringing both hands behind his head, elbows open looking up at the sky. The cerulean eyes were lost on the ceiling, just as the other had done a few minutes ago, considering what he would say next "Do you know what I remember?"

"What?"

"The day after that fight." he replied, his glorious chest rising and falling with each relaxed breath. His mind seemed far from there, he appeared to have left that room and that bed to plant himself back in school, with his eighteen years just turned and their relationship blossoming from adolescent passion to the first hesitant steps into mature adulthood "You bought a carton of milk from the vending machine. The one that tasted like yogurt, my favorite." he remembered, smiling "And you waited for me by the gym door, at the beginning of practice. You gave it to me and apologized for, and I quote, being the biggest jerkwad in the world."

"Sounds like something I'd say." Tadashi returned, his voice vibrating with laughter.

"You kissed me. Hinata threw a ball at us, I got angry and ran to punch him"

"Now that you mention it, I remember that part."

"My point is... that everything was forgiven in less than a day." finally, he seemed to return from his quiet journey through the plane of memories, his gaze sought the one that was on the other side of the bed, hand searching the other blindly among the infinite mounds of sheets. They met, intertwining their fingers in silence "You were always good at keeping things simple. You have always made me feel very comfortable." he explained with a solemn voice. He was always like that, extremely serious about everything, even talking about sentimental matters. Slowly, he descended again, his black hair sinking into the pillows at his side. Immediately, following his instincts, it was Yamaguchi this time who allowed himself to rest on the other's chest, listening to how the heartbeat under his ear made the night musical "I know you're shy and everything, but... you're also very good with people. I could never have been a captain in high school, I wouldn't have the patience." he continued, so sure of what he was saying that it almost sounded unreal to the ears of his partner. His big, callused hands after countless matches, sank between the short strands of brown hair, massaging his skull absorbed in his speech "Sometimes I wish we could swap brains."

And Yamaguchi blinked, being able to follow his narrative thus far, but feeling unsettled by that last statement.

"Elaborate, Tobio."

"You know... if you had my brain, even for a little while, you could understand how I see you." he declared, sliding his hand down to his shoulder, pressing him against himself "What you mean to me."

"I know that."

"You know it but you don't _understand_ it." he insisted, sounding frustrated. The same frustration he could feel at being unable to calculate a player's spiking height when setting the ball for them. The same frustration he could feel at glimpsing the opposing team, on the other side of the net, building momentum so favorable that no attempt to suspend it seemed to have an effect "You are not inferior to me, not at all. You are smart, athletic, gentle..."

"Tobio, I don't need a list." he clarified in a thin voice, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Damn, you are _you_. How is that not enough?"

 _What the hell was he doing?_ That feeling that had stayed lodged in his chest since he woke up that night, that feeling of hopelessness, of agony as he tried to reach Kageyama's back, moving away indifferently, while he looked at him from below. That feeling of humiliation, of disdain, that lower place where his subconscious had put him had remained for too many days. And now, he was ruining the first night with his boyfriend after talking about it for so long.

Talking of an imaginary Kageyama Tobio. Because the real one would never look at him coldly. He wouldn't consider him as weak. He hadn't done it back in school and he wouldn't do it now. No matter how many times that devilish hive wanted to convince him otherwise, he wouldn't listen to it.

With a humorous smile spreading gallantly across his face, he looked up at the dark-haired man, resting a hand on his warm cheek. And the setter leaned against the contact by mere instinct.

"Were you always this good at talking?"

"Course I am." he replied, brandishing that wicked smile that he only used on the court or in the bedroom.

"Come on, lover boy, talk to me in Italian." he kidded, amused.

"Don't be stupid..." he replied, placing an open hand on the other's face and pushing him out of his chest, to which the brunette could only laugh heartily.

"Come on!" he insisted, finding a way to lean back ver him again "Tell me how muuuuuch you love me in Italian."

" _Vaffanculo._ "

"Tobio!"

Between jokes, laughter, half-tickling, deep kisses, lazy fingers caressing numb places after exploding with sensitivity moments ago. Between brief conversations that began to fade under the weight of drowsiness, between hugs and warmth, between the clatter of paws walking around the bed and then settling down at the feet of their owners, in the middle of the candor of domestic familiarity, they finally fell asleep. Time didn't matter, but timid fires of pale yellowish light were beginning to show up when their eyes finally closed.

And they felt whole, renewed, they felt complete again. And perhaps, at the exact moment his eyelids lowered, the fleeting image of Tobio's back retreating across the shattered floor came back as if it were an invasive photograph. But Yamaguchi closed his eyes tighter, erasing it from his mind, concentrating on the firm feel of his partner's arms around his waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah, I know professional sports probably don't work like that. You can't just leave the practice with your team and go on your own HAHAHAHAHA but please bear with me, its a fictional universe and I really wanted these two lovebirds to be reunited.  
> Another thing, in this story the main characters are twenty-six years old. I'm aware that in the canon of the story, Shimizu and Tanaka are married long ago before the time period I'm settling. But hey, I took the artistic freedom of tweaking those details cause I REALLY want to write the wedding, them getting in touch again with their old teammates and...just being surrounded by a celebration of love and how exactly would that affect Yamaguchi and Kageyama.  
> I want them to go to the wedding as an excuse for more fluff, basically.  
> Hahaha. Thanks for understanding and I hope this was entertaining enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi! I'm not sure if people actually use this page for this kind of stuff but I guess I'm doing it  
I didn't forget about this story. I'm just drowning in work and I can't find time to write. I can probably get back to it in April when my crazy schedule had relaxed a bit  
I'm also super eager to write a new Yamakage story while finishing this one. They both will have to wait. A bit of an update, I'll delete it as soon as I have the next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> That's right, plot twist. Is a marriage story!  
> Well...a marriage story but also a tale about Yamaguchi working hard on overcoming his crippling insecurities and becoming the best version of himself he can possibly be! Alongside his loving boyfriend  
> I apologize in advance for the sugary dialogue. That's just me loving my favorite ships showing incredible amounts of affection towards each other. I hope you understand  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
